All New Arrivals

At the verge of sanity and beyond the madness and the moment when you lose the end and merge into the depths of the non-real. How long can you last being sane, when sanity makes you crumble. The body is crumbling. 体が転ぶ.

I feel as if an explosion is constantly erupting inside my body, somewhere between the lungs and going up to the throath. Erupting into silent voice deprived from human speech in it. Explode or implode.. will you take care of me.

This over and over repeating song is drying me out, dragging me into the non-real and saving me from it all.

I am dreaming perpetually of someone I do not know, realize how immensely unhealthy and pitiful this is and fall even more. Falling apart from the head to the toes. Understanding this saves me just like the music does. Serving the same purpose. Making me crumble just as much.

I have never seen such a strong, tall, clever, crafty man change into a small, skinny, helpless and forgetful one for such a short time before. He could beat me up at belote in a minute and then beat me up again with a sly smile on the old-wolf like face. With the joke at the edge of the smile. A glass of whiskey near the hand.

A flash of consciousness made him say: "I hope we will meet one another again... but will I recognize you then?" when I saw him.

And my body made faces of nods and joy and laughter, and I shaked hands and gave kisses and promised to come back for Christmas. Would he remember me by then. Would I be sane by then.

Explode or implode, explode or implode, will you take care of me?